Mr. Popular and .. Valentine's Day

== Doug's World Report ==

Happy Valentine's Day to Eiji
and Straight Talk readers.

I remember Valentine's Day best in Elementary school where everyone gave "Valentine Cards" to their friends, and my father gave the family a box of Roger's Chocolates

Here is the update on how Valentine's Day is celebrated in schools in my hometown in Canada

==

Schools today emphasize equality, fairness, kindness and helping the world
"We are trying to get away from that exclusivity, 'You're Mr. Popular and I'm Miss Unpopular.' "

Schools now will sometimes use the friendship message to reach beyond their classrooms.

For example, one class sent Valentine's Day messages to a class in South Africa, relating positive messages. Another group made small heart-shaped goodies, which were sold. The money raised went to the Canadian Cancer Society.

Another class arranged what they called Poem in My Pocket. They wrote small poems with positive messages and carried them at school, where, when asked, they read their poems.

"We are trying to get an even bigger idea of friendship out there," said Dergousoff.

"The emphasis now is on being a good friend, being kind and helping the world."

Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for helping the world with kindness.
Please draw some valentine's messages with Ken and Jun today.

Doug


Read more:http://www.timescolonist.com/life/Valentines+friends/6138360/story.html#ixzz1mJ5ezoQs

BY RICHARD WATTS,
TIMES COLONIST FEBRUARY 11, 2012

When it comes to modern valentines, those sweet little crushes of primary school have been overtaken by equality, friendship and fairness.

The eight-year-old boy who might want to slip a little card into the notebook of that little redhaired girl is no longer encouraged.

Instead, in modern schools when small children give valentines to schoolmates, they had better be prepared to spread their love around.

"The real focus is on 'You need a valentine for everyone,' " Marlene Dergousoff, assistant superintendent for the Saanich School District, said this week.

"And if you don't have enough valentines for everyone, then it's, 'Here is some paper and we'll make some more.' "

Dergousoff said public schools now make a strong effort to focus on friendship for Valentine's Day on Tuesday, rather than a special someone. And there is a deliberate attempt to get away from valentine's cards as a kind of social measuring stick.

"It's more of a focus on friendship today rather than, 'I got seven valentines and you got 20 and I don't have as many friends,' " Dergousoff said.

"We are trying to get away from that exclusivity, 'You're Mr. Popular and I'm Miss Unpopular.' "

Schools now will sometimes use the friendship message to reach beyond their classrooms.

For example, one class sent Valentine's Day messages to a class in South Africa, relating positive messages. Another group made small heart-shaped goodies, which were sold. The money raised went to the Canadian Cancer Society.

Another class arranged what they called Poem in My Pocket. They wrote small poems with positive messages and carried them at school, where, when asked, they read their poems.

"We are trying to get an even bigger idea of friendship out there," said Dergousoff.

"The emphasis now is on being a good friend, being kind and helping the world."

The one thing all schools try to avoid is to have that one child who receives none.

"We are all sensitive now to that child who perhaps doesn't have any friends and how does that make them feel, and then they get angry," said Dergousoff.

"What's the sense in that?" Gloria Burima, a practising developmental, clinical and forensic psychologist in Victoria, said she approves of the schools' attempts to make friendship the focus of Valentine's Day.

For example, it can be painful for a child to be unable to take part in Valentine's Day, often through no fault of their own.

"It might be whether the family had enough money to buy valentines, or whether the parent was organized enough," said Burima. "There could be all kinds of reasons why Valentine's Day exchange might be a problem."

Burima gives full marks to teachers and schools for seeing children are not left out. To lag in valentines received or to be left out entirely can be very painful, even damaging for a child.

"Teachers are very, very conscientious about protecting children and caring about their feelings," Burima said.

But she said it might be a problem for some children if, in the spirit of including everyone, they have to send a Valentine's Day card to someone who was mean to them.

"It's kind of dishonest, perhaps, to your true feelings," she said.

This might call for some sensitivity on the part of the teacher, explaining to the child how the school insists everyone is included. But the teacher can also explain other ways of dealing with feelings, such as anger, after a child has been treated badly by another.

In the home, Burima said, the most important place for a child to learn values, parents can explain why giving a valentine to everyone is the right thing to do.

She said if a child does have special feelings for a classmate, those feelings can always be acknowledged even in the new, egalitarian Valentine's Day.

"There is still such a thing as a 'special message' in a valentine, or a special valentine," Burima said.

Elizabeth Mannix, a Grade 1 teacher at Lochside Elementary School in Saanich, said the policy of a valentine as a sign of friendship is well known by teachers. And to make sure parents get it, the message is sent out in a monthly newsletter.

But Mannix said her experience is most parents, at least at Lochside, are already on board with the notion of Valentine's Day as a special day to mark friendship.

"In this school, [the newsletter reminder] has been kind of unnecessary," she said. "These days parents are pretty sensitive."

Lochside principal Joe Grewal said that, at his school, the emphasis has always been on making sure everybody feels included and valentines is no different,

"The whole thing is a matter of taking care of each other, making sure that everybody feels wanted with a sense of belonging and part of our school," Grewal said.